Meat N' Greet

[konman]

Okay, so...

It's great that people keep hunting today? That's super.

But we need to dress these animals and preserve as much of the meat as we can. Like pronto. Before it goes bad.

[He looks skyward, as if beseeching the gods to deliver him from this but here he is.]

I know how to do both because I live on a farm but there's no way I'm descending to the ninth circle of farmboy hell - presumably led there by Kenney Chesney as my Virgil - by myself.

So if you know how to dress animals - or are willing to get your hands dirty and can follow directions - head out near the pile of animals near the woods.

I also need people to gather firewood so we can smoke some of the meat. And look for dry, clean things to wrap it in so we can carry it. Paper would be good. If you can try to see if the people who lived here have some salt, that'd be great, too. You can smoke meat without it, but it preserves better with salt.

I already have the sharpest knives I could find out here.

Actually, this would be a good time to coordinate gathering and preserving and carrying any food in general. And other supplies. We don't know where we're going but we'll probably have to head somewhere to figure this situation out.

Comments

[cookiehusband]

Dress them?

[Gary's pretty grossed out by the idea.]

What, like . . . put a little bow on them? That's pretty morbid. [He considers a little more, clearly picturing the "dressed" dead animals.] Maybe a little tophat and a tie - no, that's still awful.

[cachedout]

Ooh, ooh, pick me, coach! I got this one!

[ Cayde loves being useful so much. ]

And hey, Little Cato! You out there, kid? Wanna pick up some practical knife skills?

[konman]

[Kon pinches the bridge of his nose because if this is representative of the possible help...]

This is what I have to work with.

Dressing is what you call removing some of the squishier organs and the skin so you can butcher what's left however you need to butcher it.

Which we might want to do inside, actually. There were some good kitchen areas in there. But we ought to leave all the gross parts and a lot of the blood out here.

[furtitude]

Yes!

[He goes running. Because. Knives! And butchering animals is Hardcore. And also he likes being useful to the group.]

[hallelujahjunction]

Oh, hey, a fellow farm kid. I take it not a fellow Kenny Chesney fan?

We got a bunch of firewood collected over at where me and Bunny are staying. And I bagged a few pheasants earlier today, I can bring them over to the pile.

And we can load a lot of the stuff to carry on Concrete Blonde. The horse.

[cookiehusband]

Mmhmm, mmhmm. [Gary appears to be tracking.] Right, so you can wear the skin.

[This is a very normal thing to say.]

[konman]

That'd all be great.

And look, I've been to barn dances where "she thinks my tractor's sexy" got more replays than I can count. I never wanted to know the words, yet I do.

[He shakes his head and says it again, softly, with a deep ruefulness.]

I do.

[likeits1999]

For the record, I am so glad somebody else asked first.

Thanks bro you did me a real solid.

[konman]

I...

Are you messing with me right now?

[Maybe he's just...not a clever man.]

You need to get off the skin and get rid of the organs to butcher the meat so it can be cooked or preserved. So you can eat it.

[You can preserve skins but he's not worried about that right now.]

[greyerrant]

THe firewood is an excellent idea. I shall begin gathering immediately. I thank you for your agricultural help, sir.

[ Time for Loken to go uproot some trees. Maybe he'll try to cut down the one Kerrigan is in. ]

[darvit]

I'll pitch in with handling our non-animal protein based supplies. What we need for this many people's sure going to be a lot of work to get sorted.

But can I [ with the slight note of a huff ] respectfully ask that larger scale meat preparation stays somewhere easily avoided? I know you humans and— otherwise, need it, but dead animals bother me.

[ More accurately, the idea of killing animals for food goes against a very ingrained cultural reverence for nature and not killing anything if you don't absolutely have to, but 'it bothers me' is a lot less words. ]

[cookiehusband]

No problem. I just think it would be cuter to put the hats on the animals before they're dead.

[cookiehusband]

Why would I be messing with you? Skins are way less disgusting to wear when there's not organs inside them. Come on. We're not animals here.

[He's very incorrect.]

[konman]

Thanks. The meat alone is going to be a handful.

And yeah, I already moved this pretty far off from where we were all hanging out. Near the edge of the woods, behind the rock formation.

We don't want to attract scavengers close to where we sleep and giving them a snack is the best way to get rid of the offal. You know, circle of life and all that. This'll probably make some foxes happy.

If you don't want to see it, steer clear of back here.

[rambles_on]

It's been a while, but I know how to dress animals and preserve meat. And I've got a bunch of packets of salt.

[What can Dean say? They're easy to carry and free. They're not the most convenient things, but it does in a pinch.]

I've got a hunting knife, too, which'll probably be useful.

[konman]

That's...you... you have to actually tan them to make them wearable.

A freshly skinned skin is pretty gross. Wearing that would probably be like... I don't know, wearing a slippery pita pocket.

[He sticks out his tongue, clearly disgusted.]

[konman]

You...look like someone that can carry a lot of firewood, so I appreciate it.

[konman]

That should be enough salt to make some brine for at least some of this.

And someone with a good knife would be be bigtime helpful. Whoever these people were, they had some really substandard metalwork. These knives are only okay.

[rambles_on]

[Dean is very glad to be of use to someone out here.]

Awesome. I'll head on over with some water.

[Would it be bad to use the Holy Water Dean's made to cure the meat? It doesn't seem like it'll have adverse affect on anyone, at least not from what people have said.]

[cookiehusband]

You mean they're . . . not supposed to feel like that?

[hallelujahjunction]

Oh, that one's fun, but I have a softness for I'd like to walk you through a field of wild flowers...and I'd like to check you for ticks.

[That Brad Paisley song is all the more horrible when delivered in Dan's quiet, flat, atonal, fried-as-a-cube-of-lard-in-a-skillet voice.

If Dan's trolling, he's playing it very straight.]

[konman]

[Kon steeples his fingers.]

My dude, I really hope you don't get offended by me asking this, but the way you just made that sound like personal experience means I kind of have to...

Have you worn an untanned skin? And if so, was this a "it puts the lotion on" situation we need to be concerned about or is there a reasonable explanation?

[garmr]

Well if it ain't the street performer. What animals have we got? I've got a dagger with me and I can carve some up.

[He is no longer Kon, he is now Dancing Boy.]

Also got some dried meat from the faire if anyone's about to keel over.

[hasapoint]

[Need's Mindvoice is a whisper.]

Very practical. Seems like you have the preservation angle covered. Transportation... Ever constructed a travois, child? It's simpler to make and easier to take over rough ground than a wheeled cart.

[ragefeathers]

I know how to do it. Gimme a knife and let's get to cutting.

[the_hit_list]

[ This is nature hell, and Tim is only offering to spare Kon from doing it himself. There are other volunteers, so Tim doesn’t look enthusiastic about it. ]

I’ll take requisitions and procurement, unless you run out of people who know how to use a knife and aren’t overly squeamish.

[credit_not_blame]

Is dressing an animal different than butchering it? I don't know how to do either, but the question popped into my head.

Also, I'm definitely strong enough to help pop joints out of sockets or whatever, and I know my way around a knife.

[darvit]

That’ll make some foxes entire week, even. [ circle of life indeed, she doesn’t seem at all bothered by that side of things; that’s just nature in motion ] Alright. Thanks. I can work with that.

I’ll see what I can get started with our other supplies. I know we have a good haul of foraged food started.

[ If nothing else Holly knows how to cooperate with a team when needed, regardless of personal feelings. ]

[circusbat]

I'm not bad at dressing birds and fish. Used to go camping with a guy whose dad taught him a lot about that sort of thing.

[Roy. He learned a lot of it from Roy. More than he'd learned about it from Bruce.]

I can help find salt, though. Or firewood. I'm actually really good at the firewood.

[kingofneworleans]

Been a while since I done much of it, but I can dress mos' small animals. Can take direction concernin' de bigger ones, though since I got de basics, pro'ly won' be dat hard.

[71lines]

I'd be a pretty poor ninja if I couldn't butcher an animal. Granted, smoking them isn't quite what I'm used to, but whatever.

[cookiehusband]

My dude, maybe you've never had to go to a planet where humans were arrested on sight, but some of us have had to get things done, and if that means putting on a skin suit some creep you know just happened to have on hand, well, sometimes you gotta put on your big boy britches in this big ole universe. Set of universes. And sometimes those big boy britches are an untanned skin suit.

[it's so wild how he says all this in a tone that Pa Kent would use to say that sometimes a person's life requires the application of a little gumption]

[cspd]

I'm up for learning. My wilderness training wasn't long-term enough to go that deep.

[ Really, the fact that his decidedly urban PD had wilderness survival training courses at all is kind of amazing in itself. ]

[unsealthecatbox]

I can follow instructions and get my hands dirty. I'm sure I'll catch quickly enough to not be a burden.

[Ange hopes so, at least. Getting a crash course on wilderness survival will be essential for being in this world]

[greyerrant]

Anything to keep people fed, warm, and safe. With most of my technology disabled, and this being unfamiliar territory, what survival techniques work for my physiology will fail baseline humans. I would not wish to see myself outlive my compatriots.