Chantry Sanctioned Swears

[okayimin]

[ The view from the mirror is mostly blurred trees as shaking hands fumble with it and a furious voice rants. ]

-expect me to believe this isn't some Fade nonsense. Of all the Stone deaf, sunblind, nugfucked shit-

[ The rant dies down to muttering, some creative profanities still audible. When the mirror is finally turned the right way, it shows a young woman (Dwarven to those who would recognize). She's wearing a nun's habit and wimple, though the reds and whites are a bit dull from dust and blood. A large s-shaped brand covers her left cheek. There are dark circles under her eyes. And she is clearly furious. ]

Right! I don't know what you lot are up to now, but I've had my fill of it. We're in the middle of a blasted war, if you haven't noticed. I'm very sure there are others who would be happy to indulge in this kind of magic-y surface dream business, however. I. Am. Busy.

[ She gestures with her free hand for emphasis. There's a bone saw in it. ]

If what those. Whatever they were that brought me here. Demons or spirits or what have you- Whatever they were, I was told there are others here. If that's the case, my name is Sister Sara, I'm a sawbones by trade. I'm hoping you lot are in better shape than the crew I just got yanked from, seeing as how these Fade creatures didn't even do the decent and bring my bag with me. I ain't sanctioned for it, but if we're in a pinch, I'll do your last rites. Don't reckon the Maker is too picky about who says the proper words in situations like this, so long as they get said. And if there's any of my company that happened to fall through with me, tell Sister Eloisa she can go to the fucking pit if she thinks for one minute-!

[ The rant and the recording will be abruptly cut short. Sawbones, resolutely marching away from the magical tugging feeling, is finally teleported to camp in all her bloody, exhausted fury.

The bone saw, however, has been lost to the forest. ]

Comments

[okayimin]

[ Joke's on you, Ange. Sawbones is impervious to sarcasm when she's In A Mood.]

Fade nugshit, like I said. Who're these women then? Demons? Are we watching out for them still or have you lot managed to kill them already?

[unsealthecatbox]

[Goodness, joke is on her, indeed, haha]

No, they're still alive. There's no way we won't face them again in the future. Whatever they are, I doubt they'll be deterred because we got away once.

[okayimin]

Blasted luck of it. [ The heat of her rage is cooling a bit now that she's actually talking to someone and not just stomping through a forest, snarling. ]

Well, if they didn't make off with any of the mages, I reckon that's as good as a win for now. How many do we have, anyhow? If whatever spirit is doing this is pulling in someone like me, you lot must have a fair few.

[unsealthecatbox]

[The mirror finally shows who Sara is talking to. There's Ange, rooting through plants. Foraging and trying to find stuff, yeah]

At least a dozen, last I heard. The expertise of the mages of the group is...varied.

[To put it really kindly, but she's not sure. Ange certainly hopes there's more experienced mages in the group! Because if all the mages are bumbling around with their maybe-newfound magical powers as much as Ange is, then this party may be in big trouble, hah]

[okayimin]

Suppose that's to be expected, with the state of things.

[ Has it occurred to her that Ange might not be from Thedas? Absolutely not. This is obviously the Fade and all these people are obviously from Thedas. ]

Don't suppose we've any templars handy?

[unsealthecatbox]

Any...templars?

[Templars...knights? Perhaps it's knights? There certainly is someone who brings to mind what you expect a knight to look like, now that she thinks about it]

Don't take it for granted, but maybe there's one. I didn't ask his profession.

[okayimin]

One might be all we need. If he ain't advertising he is one, that might be good. Last thing we need is some all or nothing sort wandering around in the Fade with a bunch of untrained mages.

Don't know if he'll be able to do much without lyrium, though. That'll be tricky. What've you lot been doing for mana regeneration anyhow?

[unsealthecatbox]

...now you lost me.

[Indeed, the majority of what she just heard just...brings up nothing. The Fade, lyrium, mana regeneration...what?]

[okayimin]

That's what it's called isn't it? [ squints ] You're... From Thedas, aren't you?

[unsealthecatbox]

Certainly not. Someone else might, though.

[Apparently it's not uncommon for people from the same place of origin to arrive here, if all the talk about a rig a bunch of these people know is any indication. Who knows, maybe someone else also is from this Thedas, she thinks]

[okayimin]

[ Sawbones' sighs. ]

Stone. That's what I get for hoping this would be simple. All right, where are you from then? And where the pit are we?

[unsealthecatbox]

The people at the faire seem to be calling it the Wilderlands. I hardly know any details other than that -- I was more concerned with trying to get back to Tokyo where I came from.

[She pretty much overheard that name being said around and deduced it from context clues. Ange hardly would be able to say anything other than that, really]

[okayimin]

[ She has no idea what the Wilderlands or Tokyo are. ]

So we're working from nothing then. Figures. Blasted magic never seems to bother being straightforward about things.

[unsealthecatbox]

We're all as lost as you, but some seem to be used to being thrown around into big adventures. They should know more about how these excursions go.

[Ange assumes, at least! She's not sure she fully understands what was all that about a rig and a corporation, but it was in another world and involved a lot of trouble, so maybe they know something Ange doesn't, she thinks]

If you see a girl with mechanical rabbit ears, talk to her and see if she knows more. Don't get her mixed up with the actual rabbit.

[okayimin]

That's-

[ She was going to say helpful, but then that last bit actually hits her tired, tired brain. ]

What... actual rabbit.

[ A rabbit is just a rabbit, right? ...Right?! ]

[unsealthecatbox]

[Ange sighs. It's such a weary sigh -- the sigh of someone who is fully aware how this sounds but has no choice but to say it:]

The talking bunny. The one who probably will approach you at some point to make sure you don't starve to death. You'll know once you see him around.

[...]

All that is literal, and this is no time for concocting senseless elaborate jokes.

[Ange took his existence in stride, but others possibly won't. It is hard to believe. Besides, accepting at face value the more outrageous-looking individuals of the party will make it easier to accept those like the vampire and the demon and everyone else. What a bunch we have here!]

[okayimin]

Of all the-

[ Sawbones sets the mirror down, stomps off a few paces and has a good swear. She's calmer once she comes back. ]

All right, so we have a talking rabbit. A responsible talking rabbit. Reckon that's one of the better things to have, he could be useful for foraging.

...There isn't anything like a talking nug or the like around, is there.

[unsealthecatbox]

[Ange notices the mirror was set down and, while Sawbones is gone, comments to herself while pulling dandelions from the ground:]

A reasonable reaction, all things considered.

[Should she...have mentioned he's also surprisingly tall? Well, Sawbones will see him in person at some point, she figures.

Ah, she's back. Ange takes her own mirror, holding it and starting to make her way back to the camp]

Not as far as I know, but maybe it's matter of time before we do. This is a weird bunch and the spirits aren't picky about who they bring, I guess.

[She has no idea what is a nug but her point stands]

[okayimin]

All right. Fine. [ That's most directed to the world and spirits at large. ]

I don't reckon I've been part of a crew that wasn't a weird bunch in... Ever, really. At least that'll be familiar. [ All surfacers are Weird. ]

What's your name anyhow?

[unsealthecatbox]

Ange Ushiromiya.

[Without adding anything like 'nice to meet you' or the such, really. It's not that she's not glad to meet other people, she just isn't very effusive]