wildestlands | Chantry Sanctioned Swears

[ The view from the mirror is mostly blurred trees as shaking hands fumble with it and a furious voice rants. ]

-expect me to believe this isn't some Fade nonsense. Of all the Stone deaf, sunblind, nugfucked shit-

[ The rant dies down to muttering, some creative profanities still audible. When the mirror is finally turned the right way, it shows a young woman (Dwarven to those who would recognize). She's wearing a nun's habit and wimple, though the reds and whites are a bit dull from dust and blood. A large s-shaped brand covers her left cheek. There are dark circles under her eyes. And she is clearly furious. ]

Right! I don't know what you lot are up to now, but I've had my fill of it. We're in the middle of a blasted war, if you haven't noticed. I'm very sure there are others who would be happy to indulge in this kind of magic-y surface dream business, however. I. Am. Busy.

[ She gestures with her free hand for emphasis. There's a bone saw in it. ]

If what those. Whatever they were that brought me here. Demons or spirits or what have you- Whatever they were, I was told there are others here. If that's the case, my name is Sister Sara, I'm a sawbones by trade. I'm hoping you lot are in better shape than the crew I just got yanked from, seeing as how these Fade creatures didn't even do the decent and bring my bag with me. I ain't sanctioned for it, but if we're in a pinch, I'll do your last rites. Don't reckon the Maker is too picky about who says the proper words in situations like this, so long as they get said. And if there's any of my company that happened to fall through with me, tell Sister Eloisa she can go to the fucking pit if she thinks for one minute-!

[ The rant and the recording will be abruptly cut short. Sawbones, resolutely marching away from the magical tugging feeling, is finally teleported to camp in all her bloody, exhausted fury.

The bone saw, however, has been lost to the forest. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No.

[Dr. Halsey is only short compared to Spartans, okay.

However, Cortana knows enough of the mythology adjacent to her name to be aware dwarves can be considered a separate species by primitive societies, and that they're believed to have magical powers, so she's not going to argue about dwarfism being an endocrine condition having nothing to do with one's smithing capabilities.]

Now will you tell me what Fade means?

The Fade. It's the realm through which magic flows.

[ Sawbones wrinkles her nose in thought, her voice taking a crisper tone as she switches over to a more academic train of thought. ] There's more to it, of course, but the scholarship on it is piss if you don't have access to a Circle mage's writings. Previously we assumed it existed only in a nonphysical sense. Humans and elves and the like travel through it while dreaming, but mages are the ones who have any sort of control. With the arrival of Corypheus and the rifts appearing, we've had some examples of waking beings traveling physically into the Fade.

And of course there's the Rifters who fall through from other worlds. I'm assuming that's what you are, though I don't recall if we have any record of anything like you showing up in Thedas before.

["Rift" she can get through context, more or less, and the general idea of an astral plane sort of a deal.]

I don't think either of us is on Thedas, Sister.

[Because Thedas is a planet, clearly?]

[ Sawbones sighs and rubs a hand over her face. ]

I'm hoping we're in the Fade. At least that would mean this is some spirit deciding to pull a trick and I'll have gotten some sleep.

If we're somewhere else entierly, that could mean a rift opened up in the middle of our blasted surgery tent.

[ Which is too many kinds of bad to even think about. ]

If a rift is what I think it is, I'd have detected one opening, if only for a split second.

[This has nothing to do with slipspace, Cortana.]

[ That gets a trace of a smile out of Sawbones. ]

Giant rips in the air spitting out demons usually aren't too hard to detect.

[ It is very much not slipspace. ]

But if this ain't the Fade and it's nothing to do with the rifts, well then. I'm out of ideas on what the pit this is.

Great, let's start a club.

The Where the Fuck Are We Club, yeah?

Maybe these other poor sods already started it and we just gotta join up. It be nice if someone's already sorted out the particulars of shelter and food for us.

[ Hang on. ]

Do artificial intelligences need that sort of thing?

Nope. We're self-sufficient.

[Except for legs, and she's not tipping her hand about the Chief (aka "her ride") yet, because if his cryopod landed somewhere, he's vulnerable until the thawing sequence finishes.]

Good. I hope that goes for health too, I haven't the faintest idea on how to treat something like you.

[ She gets back on her feet, tucking away her journal and picking up the mirror, all business. ]

Right then. Best get to it. What's your name? I'd ask what you know about this place, but from the sounds of it, you and I fell through about the same time.

Cortana.

[This is Very Significant if you know either European folklore or FPS games.]

[ Regretfully being neither, all Sawbones does is nod. ]

Well met, Cortana.

Now then, you said before you could have sensed a Rift if one opened. Is it just anomalies like that or can you pick up other things? I've been told there's an underground village near abouts that's been abandoned. Reckon we could strip the place for gear, but I need to know where the blasted place is and if it's Tainted.

[ Yeah, they're not in Thedas, but it's hard to separate underground from the Taint. ]

[Cortana wrinkles her glowing nose in distaste.]

My sensors seem to have been...affected by whatever brought me here.

[She's stuck with human sensory capabilities and how do you people not go crazy?]

[ It's magic, but Sawbones is polite enough not to say so. ]

Reckon that'll be the luck of this place. There were reports of Rifters changing when they moved through worlds, maybe it's similar. [ And wildly annoying that she's constrained to her memory and the notes she has in her pocket. ] Right, let's do a run down of what you can do. We'll start with the basics, the way you do when someone's been in a cave in.

Can you move around all right? Don't know if light folk have feeling in their feet, but. Well, can you feel what you ought to feel?

This [she gestures at her image] isn't me. It's just a front end I worked up so humans feel comfortable interacting with me.

My diagnostics are haywire [aka "nonexistent" because she is now magic, which, fuck that] so I can't give you a good answer on an assessment.

Huh... Suppose that makes things a little easier. We can narrow things down at least.

Can you see or hear your surroundings? Or is it just through the mirror?

Mirror?

[Cortana's mirror goes away when she's an amulet, and she hasn't figured out her magical body yet, so right now she's perceiving the network as being very similar to the way one would work at home.]

[ Which does sort of answer the question. ]

The devices we're using to communicate. [ This time she digs out the crayons and draws straight on the glass a quick sketch of the mirror. ] Enchanted, most like. A company I was with for a while had something similar, though it was only a crystal. Voice only, no images.

[Cortana shakes her head.]

I haven't got anything like that.

Have you got someone watching your back at least?

By all accounts this place is supposed to be safe, but... [ She doesn't put an enormous amount of weight in that and Ay-Eyes don't sound like they're particularly suited for combat. ]

Chantry Sanctioned Swears

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