Chantry Sanctioned Swears

[okayimin]

[ The view from the mirror is mostly blurred trees as shaking hands fumble with it and a furious voice rants. ]

-expect me to believe this isn't some Fade nonsense. Of all the Stone deaf, sunblind, nugfucked shit-

[ The rant dies down to muttering, some creative profanities still audible. When the mirror is finally turned the right way, it shows a young woman (Dwarven to those who would recognize). She's wearing a nun's habit and wimple, though the reds and whites are a bit dull from dust and blood. A large s-shaped brand covers her left cheek. There are dark circles under her eyes. And she is clearly furious. ]

Right! I don't know what you lot are up to now, but I've had my fill of it. We're in the middle of a blasted war, if you haven't noticed. I'm very sure there are others who would be happy to indulge in this kind of magic-y surface dream business, however. I. Am. Busy.

[ She gestures with her free hand for emphasis. There's a bone saw in it. ]

If what those. Whatever they were that brought me here. Demons or spirits or what have you- Whatever they were, I was told there are others here. If that's the case, my name is Sister Sara, I'm a sawbones by trade. I'm hoping you lot are in better shape than the crew I just got yanked from, seeing as how these Fade creatures didn't even do the decent and bring my bag with me. I ain't sanctioned for it, but if we're in a pinch, I'll do your last rites. Don't reckon the Maker is too picky about who says the proper words in situations like this, so long as they get said. And if there's any of my company that happened to fall through with me, tell Sister Eloisa she can go to the fucking pit if she thinks for one minute-!

[ The rant and the recording will be abruptly cut short. Sawbones, resolutely marching away from the magical tugging feeling, is finally teleported to camp in all her bloody, exhausted fury.

The bone saw, however, has been lost to the forest. ]

Comments

[steelandtemper]

[Eyeroll.]

I'm not a spirit. [What is this superstitious nonsense.] I'm an AI.

[She's not in a particularly good mood, either, but an annoyed Cortana is a clipped, brisk Cortana. The torrent of abuse comes when she's worried and disguising it as anger.]

[okayimin]

[ Suspicious squint. ]

What's an ay-eye.

[steelandtemper]

[FOR PITY'S SAKE.]

Artificial. Intelligence.

[okayimin]

I still don't know what that is.

[steelandtemper]

[Put-upon sigh.]

I'm a self-aware computer.

[Sadly for everyone, she's lost her enormous AI speed advantage, so she hasn't had time to think all this through yet, and she's highly pop culture-deficient, so "isekai fantasy bullshit" is not going to occur to her.]

[okayimin]

[ Yeah, she still doesn't know what that is, but it does get her thinking enough to draw a few possible conclusions: ]

Is this a space thing?

[hasapoint]

[No visual here, and Need's voice comes through weird because Psychic Powers.]

What makes an intelligence artificial?

[steelandtemper]

[Who the hell knows how Cortana's perceptions work to begin with.]

Being intentionally created, not the result of evolution. This usually also means inorganic, but you could make an argument against if you wanted to deal with edge cases.

[hasapoint]

Hm.

[There was a fad, if you can call it that, some millennia ago for teams of mages to create new life in stable breeding populations. Though most of them had really only managed to alter existing species. Need vaguely recalls some equivalent to the word evolution, as in the warsteeds, something that could have been possible over enough generations of selective breeding to a purpose.]

What if one of the components used in this creation is a human?

[the_hit_list]

[ Tim will put aside his navel-gazing for something like this. ]

There isn’t any tech I’ve seen around here that could handle the demands of an AI. There isn’t any tech.

[ The AI is fascinating, and he will have questions, but right now he’s more interested in the potential for electronic and computer components. ]

[steelandtemper]

I'm willing to admit I don't know what's going on. I've been disconnected from all networks, and I'm not detecting any signals.

[She's not admitting to having been slowed down to squishy organic speed, though. At least, not yet.]

[the_hit_list]

[ Tim had his entire uniform downgrading to natural fibres. Good luck finding a fibre network. ]

I don’t think there’s anything to detect. The town looked 15th to 17th century. I think we’re pre-industry.

[steelandtemper]

[Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.]

Ugh.

[likeits1999]

Oh uh. Hey.

[ Wait, no, he shouldn't have said anything. But now Kevin's started talking and he has to finish. Fuck. ]

Quick question.

Is your name... Cortana?

[steelandtemper]

[DEEP SUSPICION.]

Who wants to know?

[She is super-classified, buddy.]

[likeits1999]

Oh it's um. No big deal.

Cause if you are that's like, super cool actually. That's all.

[ Don't meet your heroes it's weird. ]

[steelandtemper]

[What the hell, kid?]

Are you UNSC?

[They have plenty of dumb kids!]

[talk_radio]

An artificial intelligence? Here? Huh, weird.

[steelandtemper]

[Look who's talking, buddy.]

And you are...?

[talk_radio]

[Hey, he's not artificial.]

Oh I'm Bumblebee. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Cybertron.

Hi. [He waves.]

[steelandtemper]

[He sure looks artificial.]

You don't have any genocidal urges towards humanity, right? Just checking.

[Aliens have a bad track record in Halo, okay.]

[greyerrant]

[ Have a silent glare from an enormous helmeted figure by filthy magic method. He mad. ]

[steelandtemper]

[She can't tell you're glaring through the helmet, Garv.]

Can I help you with something?

[Same tone as "take a picture, it'll last longer."]

[greyerrant]

You said you were an AI.

[ Coming from him it's almost an accusation]

[steelandtemper]

Congratulations, you were paying attention.

[What is this crappy knockoff space marine??? Where's the Master Chief???]